Extramarital affairs are contrary to traditional moral concepts and social morality. It is extremely harmful to individuals, families and society. It is a very troublesome problem of extramarital affairs.
Psychological analysis of cases of extramarital affairs in China shows that the main reasons for the formation of extramarital affairs are as follows:
1. Lonely and monotonous life If married life makes people feel disappointed and unsatisfied, many people will look for other ways or stimulation to achieve psychological satisfaction and balance. For example, married life makes people feel lonely and boring, and the husband and wife lack intimacy and cannot bring each other the joy of life. Especially the kind of couples who have been separated for a long time, when they see other people's couples in pairs, sweet and affectionate, they will inevitably feel lost and unbalanced in their hearts, so it is easy to find other "gentle towns".
There is also a situation that married life is too monotonous, lacking in novelty, every day is the same thing, the same life pattern, at this time the relationship is easy to become dull and boring, and life is not fun. In this case, the novelty and excitement of extramarital affairs are more likely to be highlighted, grabbing people's hearts and making them unable to extricate themselves.
2. Emotional discord The relationship between husband and wife is the foundation of marriage, and if the relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious, it is easy to lead to various problems in marriage. If there is a long-term lack of communication between husband and wife, then it is easy for them to accept other temptations or seek other emotional comfort to seek emotional compensation.
3. Some couples with different interests are emotionally very good, but after a long time, they find that they do not have common interests, such as: the wife likes to dance, but the husband only likes to play cards; The husband loves literature and art, but the wife has a soft spot for fashion trends; The wife has lofty ideals, but the husband is content with the status quo; The husband works hard, but the wife does not want to make progress. These differences in interests, hobbies, and ambitions make the two less and less common and seriously inconsistent. If you meet a "bosom friend" outside at this time, it is easy to fall into an extramarital relationship.
4. Discord in sex life This is also one of the main reasons for extramarital affairs. If marriage does not have a harmonious sex life, it cannot be maintained. No matter how good the relationship between the two parties is, how many people can live a "platonic love" life for the rest of their lives, and extramarital affairs seem inevitable at this time.
5. It is very difficult to define people who like the new and hate the old, especially in emotional matters, it is easy to see one love another, and in the end they don't know who they love. If this happens before marriage, it may be understandable, but once you get married, you have to be responsible for your lover and family. This kind of thinking of liking the new and hating the old, coupled with the unsatisfactory life after marriage, will change even if the person you marry is the "favorite person".
Because the old lover highlights more of the shortcomings, and the new lover highlights more of the advantages, comparing the advantages of others with the shortcomings of one's own lover, of course, one's lover is much inferior, and the occurrence of extramarital affairs is inevitable.
6. The negative impact of the media Many film and television dramas, books, etc. reflect the phenomenon of extramarital affairs, but the focus of their descriptions is not necessarily the negative effects of extramarital affairs, or the phenomenon of extramarital affairs of celebrities, which makes people not surprised, and they are also copied in their own lives, causing many family and marriage problems.
psychoanalysis
1. It is better to improve your own women's meticulousness, seriousness, and sensitivity, so that they have an advantage over men in some aspects.
But on the other hand, women also have shortcomings such as narrow-mindedness, suspicion, paranoia, perfectionism, and emotional fragility. We often encounter such examples in our psychological counseling clinic: Case: Rong'er stumbled upon a diary of her husband's past while moving, and learned about some things between her husband and his lover before.
Since then, she has interrogated her husband every day about what is going on, and she herself has read the diary many times, memorized it by heart, and wherever she goes, she will recall whether her husband has been here with others in the past, what he has done, and so on. This caused her great pain, she couldn't sleep all night and had no intention of working during the day. Their children are all in elementary school, and Rong'er doesn't want to divorce her husband, but she can't forgive her husband, so she tortures each other like this, which makes her husband also very painful.
Analysis: Although many women do not have such extreme behaviors as above, they are still often suspicious of the loyalty of their husbands or boyfriends and spend a lot of energy on wild thoughts. Not only do they lack trust in each other, but they also lack self-confidence. I often ask them how much time do we really spend thinking about our lives, work and entertainment - is it worth spending so much time thinking about some irrelevant people and things - some people will suddenly realize after hearing this, and feel that they should think more about their own growth, instead of watching their husbands like thieves and torturing themselves to the point of being distracted and haggard, it is better to pay more attention to improving their own quality and improving themselves.
2. Don't let yourself become a broken-mouthed woman Women's attitude towards love will change after marriage, and they unconsciously show that they want to subdue their husbands instead of respecting them.
Newlyweds always can't avoid many quarrels while being sweet, and the focus is on "who has the final say". Case: The Xiaoguan couple has just been married for more than half a year, but they quarrel over some trivial matters. They are all highly educated intellectuals, usually gentle and elegant, but when they quarrel at home, they are different faces, why?
It turned out to be to compete for the "leadership" in the family! The husband used to be free, put things around, and didn't pay much attention to the details, so Xiaoguan couldn't tolerate it, and he must reform him. As soon as her husband came back, Xiaoguan stared at him, thinking that he hadn't washed the dishes for a while, and that he was throwing socks around for a while, and became more and more nagging. The husband feels that home is a place to relax, but as a result, he is more nervous than at work, so he doesn't like to go home more and more, and his wife complains more and more, forming a vicious circle.
3. Women's happiness comes from themselves Women's emotions are rich and easy to be sentimental, so who should women's happiness come from - many women complain that their husbands don't love her enough, are not romantic, inconsiderate, don't understand, and feel very annoyed by themselves.
